New Dating Spot

Why is texting one of the greatest tools for flirting and building attraction?

Well, let’s think about what’s involved in creating attraction with someone in the real world. Your smile, smell, confidence, words, timing, clothes, breath, witty remarks, on-the-spot flirting, and the list goes on and on. These are what I call attraction triggers. In the real world, you have to account for every attraction trigger or else you will be unsuccessful in your dating. So if you want to make your dating life easier, you need to start eliminating as many of these attraction triggers as you can. The less attraction triggers you have to deal with the better your chances of being successful in creating attraction and intrigue. Text messaging does just that… it eliminates the majority of the attraction triggers. The only attraction triggers you need to account for are words and timing, and that’s it. If you text the right words at the right time, you can expect to triple or double your success in dating. I’ve seen this happen hundreds of times.

Flirting is one of the most crucial parts in building attraction and creating a sexual connection. From a rational perspective it’s an unnecessary part in communication, that’s why it’s hard for men to grasp it’s importance. Basically, if you can send the right flirty text messages, then you can create that sexual connection without having to deal with all the attraction triggers. I’m going to share with you the 3 Laws that I use when I first start coaching men on how to be more successful at sending flirty text messages:

Law #1 - Building Suspense - the 10-minute rule

You must, at times, build suspense when text messaging. It creates the roller coaster effect in your text messages. I always teach the ten minute rule to people that are just getting started in texting… which is, “never send a text message within ten minutes of a vulnerable text message.” In other words, if the person text messages you something that makes them vulnerable such as, “ya I’ll come over, what time?” or “what are you doing tonight?”, you need to hold them in that uneasy (vulnerable) place for ten minutes before giving the relief that everything is cool with you.

The point is, women love to feel and be emotionally involved in whatever she is doing. It’s a big part of what drives them. So if you can be at the front of that emotional roller coaster she is going to be pulled towards you. It’s really that simple. At times, put suspense in your text messages and you will start moving in the right direction.

Law #2 - Keep it fun, light and un-needy

I bet everyone reading this has run into a few instances where they became stressed about sending the right flirty text message. This is never a good place to be. In time, most women, especially the exceptional ones, will read into this neediness and get turned off. You need to stop caring so much about what you’re sending and instead you need to just stay in a fun and light mood and then start texting. Most importantly, you need to move on and NEVER second guess yourself. If you just relax and understand that there are plenty of fish in the sea, then you will start sending the right flirty text messages.

Law #3 - Choose words that build attraction not friendship

Words have such a huge impact on our lives. Words carry the largest impact on everyone of our relationships. It determines the strength of our relationships and what direction it’s going to go. I can’t just give you a bunch of flirty text messages to send because that would take longer than an article to explain. However, if you want a ton of proven text messages that work, you should definitely get the eBook “The Ultimate Texting Guide.” It teaches you exactly what to text to be successful with women.

I can give you some flirting tips to get you moving in the right direction and help you construct better flirty text messages. Start by always keeping in mind: send messages that build attraction not friendship. This is the area where most men fail. It comes from a history of sending a ton of text messages to friends and few to the women they want. This basically puts a man in friendship auto pilot and the women you want end up getting your classic messages that make her into a friend instead of something more. Here’s the best way to start breaking out of this auto pilot system: be aware of the feeling in your message. Meaning, women respond to how you make them feel. You create the feeling. Is it flirty or is it friendship? You must be able to discern between the two.

Here are two text messages - one friendly and one flirty. See if you can discern between the two. The scenario: a woman texted two guys and invited them to go shopping with her. Guy #1: “Ya I would love to go shopping with you. I got to be back in two hours, are you ok with that?” Guy #2: “I would go shopping with you, but I don’t want you to be tempted to make out with me in the dressing room.” Yes, I’m sure you guessed example #2 was flirty. Now the key is to be able to send these flirty text messages at the right time. When done correctly, this is definitely an area where I see men triple or double their success with women. Remember, we don’t get on a roller coaster because it’s boring if you’re boring, women won’t respond well to you for the same reason. Keep it fun and flirty and stay away from the friendly text messages.